Jewish Parenting by Patrick Aleph for OneShul.org
Resources:
Kveller.com Chabad.org OneShul.org PJ Library
Key points:
-In order to teach, you have to learn. It’s not what you DO, it’s who you are (see Freakonomics by Levine/Dubner)
-Children are auditory, tactile
-Children are smarter and more aware than we give them credit for
-Children learn in different ways and have different strengths. Judaism encourages working from where “you are”
Jewish Child Lifecycle
Brit Milah/Baby Naming Ceremonies
Key Players: Baby, Parents, Family/Friends, Sandek (the person who holds the baby, usually the grandparents), Mohel (person who performs circumcision), Rabbi (if the mohel is not a rabbi)
Ceremony:
1) Child is brought in to the ritual area (usually a living room or a synagogue)
2) Given to the Sandek
3) Mohel‘s blessing: Baruch Ha-Ba “Blessed is the one who has arrived.”
4) Mohel asks permission to perform brit on behalf of the father
5) Brit Milah: removal of foreskin, folding back the mucous membrane, cleaning/bandaging. The procedure takes about sixty seconds
6) Blessing given oven wine. Guests reply with a blessing. Parents drink the wine.
7) Baby’s name is given. Parents speak about the origin of the name. Ashkenazi Jews tend to name their children after deceased relatives. Sephardim tend to do the opposite
Modified version of the above ritual for female babies, usually involving more blessings, readings such as Woman of Valor.
Circumcision: Point/Counterpoint
PRO:
-Mitzvah/Jewish Tradition (Genesis 17:10, Lev. 12:3, Joshua 5:9, I and II Samuel)
-Some health benefits (reduction in penile cancer, some STDs, cleanliness, issues in adulthood)
CON:
-Extra surgery & risks associated, Bodily Autonomy
Pidyon Haben (Redemption of the Firstborn Son)
Pidyon haben means “redemption of a son.” According to the Book of Exodus, during the tenth plague in Egypt, the firstborn sons of the Egyptians were all killed, but the firstborn sons of the Israelites were spared. To commemorate this, Israelite firstborn sons were consecrated to divine service in the Temple. However, for a variety of reasons over time, Temple service became the domain of Levites and Kohanim (the two Jewish priestly orders). This meant that regular Israelite firstborn sons were off the hook. Sort of. In order to fully absolve their sons from the obligation to perform Temple service, parents were required to give money to a Kohen (also spelled “Cohen” in English) and thus buy back (“redeem”) their little boys. (Kveller.com)
Ceremony:
1) Child is brought in
2) Kohen offers to “take” the child
3) Father gives the redemption blessing and hands over the coins
4) Kohen recites a blessing that the mitzvah has been fulfilled and offers blessing to the child
Primarily an Orthodox practice. Some Conservative Jews continue this as well. Only applies, traditionally, to first born sons from natural childbirth
Interesting point: this ceremony exempts the baby from service to the Temple and the traditional responsibilities of the “first born”. Could be a way of celebrating the openness of his future
The Upsherin
In the Hasidic community, the upsherin marks a male child’s entry into the formal educational system and the commencement of Torah study. A yarmulke and tzitzis will now be worn, and the child will be taught to pray and read the Hebrew alphabet. So that Torah should be “sweet on the tongue,” the Hebrew letters are covered with honey, and the children lick them as they read (wikipedia.org).This practice is very modern, 17th century
Shabbat/Holidays
-Parental Reinforcement: “how is this night different…” (Passover)
-Roles to play at each age (making challah, deciding what to have for dinner, where to go for shul, setting a table, getting books off a bookshelf)
-Tactile/Auditory: having Judaica in the home, singing Jewish songs, etc
Birthdays
Rosh Hashanah is so special because it is the birthday of humankind—it is the day when Adam and Eve were created. Your birthday is your personal Rosh Hashanah—utilize it to its utmost! (Chabad.org)
-Choosing a Jewish cause to give to in your child’s name
-Getting a Jewish book/resource each year (PJ Library)
Bar & Bat Mitzvah Tips
-Start early
-Holistic Bnei Mitzvah: learning Judaism, Hebrew/Torah, tikkun olam, Identifying with a Jewish person from history
-How will you infuse Judaism into your adult life?
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